“In that case I sentence you to a lifetime of horror on Monster Island. Don’t worry, it’s just a name.” – Chief Justice of the Supreme Court Yesterday came the long anticipated but still unwelcome and stomach turning news that Barack Obama has officially thrown in the towel on closing the prison at Guantanamo. For [...]
Archive for the ‘The Art of the Possible’ Category
What’s the Singular of Archipelago?
Red Balls
“We all got used to seeing lots of really perverted stuff on the internet, so now we can’t go back to Playboy.” – Guy at Refugee Camp “I know, right!” – Randy Marsh The byline brigade is starting to get antsy that not a single high profile Red had officially declared her or his willingness [...]
Actions Speak Louder Than Strategies
“The Deep South? Isn’t that the place where the black guys are really lazy and all the white guys are just as lazy but they’re mad at the black guys for being so lazy?” – Peter Griffin Yesterday, The Washington Monthly’s Political Animal blog linked to a pair of posts arguing about whether or not [...]
Gnorons in Bubble World
“All that work, all the effort I put in . . . I still wasn’t poor and stupid enough to win.” – Eric Cartman During the second half of the second Bush Administration, the word “bubble” gained enough popularity that it flirted with being included in the old “stupid or evil?” debate. I’m not sure [...]
They All Laughed at Hillary Clinton
“Take a look at this, Lisa, you don’t see any ‘Homer is a Dope’ t-shirts, do you?” – Homer Simpson “We sold those out in five minutes.” – T-Shirt Vendor It was nearly thirteen years ago that Hillary Clinton, speaking about the witch hunt then being pursued by Kenneth Starr, uttered perhaps her most famous [...]
When Wars Are Old Enough to Vote
“Time was you’d send a boy off to war. Shootin’ a man fixed ’em right up, but there’s not even any wars no more, thank you very much Warren Christopher.” – Moe Three hundred and sixty three days from now the last regular American troops are supposed to be out of Iraq. That will be [...]
Fanfare for the Common Lobbyist
“Homer, I want you to have my lucky hat. I wore it the day Kennedy was shot, and it always brings me good luck.” – Rich Texan There has been much brouhaha over Haley Barbour’s shameless whitewashing of his youth in segregated Mississippi. Rick Perlstein has the definitive takedown of Barbour’s comments and the willful [...]
Right and Left, Style and Substance
“Hey, welcome to the new ‘Coming Attractions’, where we now emphasize style over substance. We’ll review four flicks, but first, something for the chicks.” – Jay Sherman In response to the latest round of silly playground taunts aimed leftward by the White House, Atrios writes: Personally I don’t mind a bit of hippie punching as [...]
Lotta Cans on This Road
“We have mocked our economy, and now the economy has cast its vengeance upon us all.” – Randy Marsh There are conflicting reports about whether or not the massive “Tax Cuts for Everybody!” deal is actually going to pass. Plenty of people are hopping mad about it, although for very different reasons. The basic outline [...]
Symbol Minded
“Wait, you forgot your bear, a symbol of your lost youth and innocence!” – Mr. Burns Sr. One tries to be as cynical as possible. It’s easier than going through life mystified at all the horrible shit that happens. But every once and a while even a practiced cynic encounters something so darkly twisted as [...]
Vote Karzai
“If nobody sees it, then nobody gets mad.” – Shary Bobbins “It’s the American way!” – Bart Simpson In the short run, it’s difficult to see how last week’s election will have any effect on the ongoing passion play that is our Afghan War. Whatever else may be said about Congress becoming much more right [...]
A Pox on the House You Both Share
“Hmm, these campaign buttons are all partisan. Don’t you have any neutral ones? ‘May the Better Man Win’, ‘Let’s Have a Good Clean Election’, that sort of thing?” – Principal Skinner On Monday, Jon Stewart used the opening of The Daily Show to respond to criticism of his rally on the Mall from noted left [...]
Hooverville
“Tough times, eh? I’ve lived through twelve recessions, eight panics, and five years of McKinleynomics. I’ll survive this.” – C.M. Burns “Well even so, sir, we could stand to lay off a few employees.” – Mr. Smithers Early last summer, long before the term “death panels” became famous, before Joe Lieberman reminded everyone that he [...]
A Few More Years in Fantasyland
“Well I’ll be sodomized on Christmas.” – Chef The yammering cacophony of nitwit analysis about yesterday’s election won’t subside for quite some time. I made my stupid contribution to the great “why” circle jerk on Sunday, the short version of which is that a terrible economy combined with right wing fear and an unlimited spigot [...]
Red versus Blue
“Shake harder, boy!” – Shelbyville Impound Lot Owner Two days out from the 2010 election the widespread expectation is that the Reds will take control of the House and the Blues will hold the Senate. Of course, given the uncertainty surrounding the available polling data and the sheer number of close races, the Blues holding [...]
Shirkers
“Hey, that thing’s going kaka cuckoo.” – Carl “Who cares? It’s Homer’s problem.” – Lenny Via Armchair Generalist, comes a piece from Stephen Biddle in which he makes the face meltingly obvious, yet for some reason controversial, point that war is influenced by domestic politics (just ignore the fact that he’s citing one of Bob [...]
Big White Lie
“Do you remember a time when women couldn’t vote? And certain folk weren’t allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.” – TV Commercial Narrator It will come as a surprise to precisely no one that the revitalized base of the American right is a little fuzzy and selective in their history. A movement led by [...]
Generational Frustration
“I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was, now what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s it seems weird and scary to me. It’ll happen to you.” – Abe Simpson In the most recent issue of Harper’s, Susan Faludi wrote what I thought was a thoughtful article about the generational [...]
1337
“Do we take the drones for granted?” – Lana Kane “No. No. No, Lana. Do not make this about them.” – Sterling Archer I was listening to BBC World Service the other night and they had on a guy, whose name I didn’t catch, from the union that represents Border Patrol agents. The earnest and [...]
Some Sympathy for the Screamers
“They took our jobs!” – South Park Traditional Near the end of 1993’s Falling Down, Michael Douglas’s anti-hero American everyman comes to the sad realization that he is not the Good Guy he thought he was. “I’m the bad guy?”, he plaintively asks, seconds before realizing it’s true. (Skip to the 4:00 mark here.) It’s [...]
Labor Day in a Management Year
“Come gather round children it’s high time ye learned, ’bout a hero named Homer and a devil named Burns.” – Lisa Simpson First, let us dispense with the bullshit. Labor Day has about as much connection left to the labor movement as Memorial Day does to the wars we fight, or the Fourth of July [...]
We Can Fight on This Line
“I guess it was inevitable. Let this be our final battle.” – Eric Cartman Among the habitually amnesiac cognoscenti that reflexively set our political discourse to its most childish level, the belief still exists that twas Hurricane Katrina that broke Bush the Younger. (And that ignores the many of them who never gave up on [...]
Tea Leaves, Tea Parties and . . . Aw, Fuck It’s Only August
“I see nothing here. But I’m afraid it’s splitsville for Delta Burke and Major Dad.” – Princess Opal “But they seem so happy.” – Chief Wiggum The kneejerk takeaway from last night’s multi-state primary elections is that there’s Blue hope yet. In addition to the crazy lady in Nevada and the racist bully in Kentucky, [...]
Time to Rerun “The Civil War”
“The South loses this battle, Cartman. They lose the war!” – Kyle Broflovski “Nuh-huh, the South is gonna win.” – Eric Cartman As we trudge toward the first election in this country with a sitting black President, the racial hysterics and fear mongering on the right have reached heights not seen in decades. Racial dog [...]
Institutions Matter, Especially That One on the Ballot
“Well, your honor, we’ve got plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are kinds of evidence.” – Lionel Hutz Over the weekend there was a piece at boston.com that hashed together some old studies on the science of people’s political beliefs and their abilities to change their opinions when presented with corrective facts. Facts, it turns [...]
