“What’s the difference between Pakistan and a pancake? I don’t know any pancakes that were nuked by India! Ha ha. What, too soon?” – Future Krusty Imagine for a moment that it is the sooner-than-you-think future. China is richer and more powerful than America. They have also, by some dastardly means just short of war, [...]
Archive for November 2011
The View from Islamabad
Grand Bargains
“Do you think you can get the dental plan back?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, that depends on who’s a better negotiator, Mr. Burns or me.” – Homer Simpson “Dad, I’ll trade you this delicious doorstop for your crummy old danish.” – Bart Simpson “Done and done.” – Homer Simpson As the backlash over the brutal, [...]
Why “Super 8” Sucks
“Once in a great while we a privileged to experience a television event so extraordinary it becomes part of our shared heritage. 1969, man walks on the moon. 1971, man walks on the moon again. Then for a long time nothing happened. Until tonight.” – Krusty the Klown I can’t vouch for the particulars of [...]
Time Warner, the NFL Network, and Net Neutrality
“Hey, we’re making enough money, right?” – Doomed Costington’s Executive Despite it being dedicated to far and away the most popular sport in the land, and despite the fact that an unremarkable cable hookup has more than enough bandwidth to carry it in high definition, the NFL Network remains unavailable on the nation’s second largest [...]
Ad Busted
“Even as I speak, the scourge of advertising could be heading toward your town. Lock your doors! Bar your windows! Because the next advertisement you see could destroy your house and eat your family!” – Kent Brockman “We’ll be right back.” – Homer Simpson In the wake of the Occupy movement’s first big taste of [...]
Drug Blinders
“Prohibition? Pfft. They tried that in the movies and it didn’t work.” – Homer Simpson Even by the increasingly low standards of the former Atlantic Monthly, the article currently up at their website entitled “How the War on Terror Has Militarized the Police” is grossly subpar. The premise is a sound one, namely that police [...]
Unhappy Nation
Anti-American
“Ironic, isn’t it, Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you.” – C.M. Burns Precisely one year from today, millions of Americans will vote in the 2012 election. [...]
Pat Buchanan’s Book Is Stupid, But His Readers Aren’t
“The snow’s melted, we can go outside again! . . . I don’t like the looks of those teenagers.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Life is far too short to spend reading Pat Buchanan books, but his latest screed contained so many nursing home doozies (pining for segregation, fretting over the future of “White America”, taking [...]
