The economy sucks, we’re losing two wars and about the only thing this country hasn’t suffered from lately is an alien invasion. Nevertheless, I have a real challenge for President Obama: can you please do something about the tiny niggling little problems of the NFL?
Commercial Breaks - Televised games go to commercial much too often. While I recognize that this is what pays the bills it’s been taken to almost comic heights in the last ten years or so. If a team scores, there’s a commercial. That’s fine. But then the broadcast returns for the kickoff - and only the kickoff - before going back to commercial. Eliminating that extra commercial break between a kickoff and the first offensive play would be greeted with huzzahs of praise across the land.
TV Blackouts - I follow the Detroit Lions, and lately have not been able to watch their games on television because of the NFL’s near insane blackout rule. If a team does not sell out by Thursday, no local markets can broadcast the game on television. They define “local” pretty expansively as well, for the Lions it means not only are they blacked out on Detroit television stations, but they’re also off the air in the Flint/Saginaw, Lansing and Toledo, Ohio markets. That means you need to be more than halfway to Chicago before the NFL deems you sufficiently far away to be able to watch it on television. It’s a policy that punishes fans and, owing to the league’s overall popularity, usually fans of terrible franchises like the Lions.
Kickoff Times - On any given Sunday there are a lot of 1:00pm Eastern games and a much smaller number of 4:00pm Eastern games. There’s nothing wrong with that, but the balance is way out of whack. There are often as few as three late games to nine early ones. Week 14 this year has only two (2!) 4:00pm games. On behalf the gambling and fantasy public, who are your most devoted fans and who are trying to follow all the games at once, could you please push one or two more games per week back to 4:00pm? I’m sure the local fan bases wouldn’t mind an extra three hours of pregame drinking.
Sunday Ticket - I’m a DirecTV subscriber and I’m pretty happy with it in general. But the fact that DirecTV is the only way to watch all the NFL games is a farce bordering on extortion. I’m no expert on the finances of the DirecTV deal, for all I know they installed a money pipe right into the commissioner’s office, but if you’re in the entertainment business, as the NFL is, wouldn’t you want to maximize the number of paying customers?
Touchdown Dances - I appreciate that the League has to make its appeal as broad as possible, but I really don’t think a lot of fans are against elaborate touchdown celebrations provided they don’t actually slow the game. Football is a vicious and violent sport and I, for one, would like to see the men who bring it to me, amped out of their minds on adrenaline and who knows what else, allowed to celebrate success however they damn well please. It adds personality to the game at the cost of nothing.
Overtime - I am a big proponent of the NFL’s overtime format. The NCAA format is a joke; it warps statistics, cheapens touchdowns, heavily favors the offense, and all but eliminates special teams. But there is one change I would like to see tried and that is guaranteeing each team a possession. Modern place kickers are frequently good from over fifty yards and depending on the return that can mean an offense need only pick up a first down or two to be in a position to win the game. If each team was guaranteed a possession the team that went first would be playing real offense because there would be a meaningful difference between scoring a touchdown and kicking a field goal. As soon as the team that kicked off got the ball back, via kickoff, punt or turnover, the rules switch to sudden death. If it’s a kickoff the other team can match, if it’s a turnover or punt they can win outright. I do like the current rules, but guaranteeing each team a possession is worth trying for a couple of seasons. (As for today’s Philadelphia- Cincinnati tie, well, it only happens once or twice per decade so it’s not a big deal.)
Pat Downs - Every fan attending an NFL game, with the predictable exception of luxury suite patrons, is subject to a mandatory pat down on the way into the stadium. This is security theater at its worst. It is selectively applied (only the plebs are patted down), it is completely ineffective (I could sneak three guns and a pint of vodka in if I really wanted to), and it’s an invasion of privacy (why is this stranger feeling me up again?). The pat downs are performed by stadium employees who clearly would rather be doing something else and they serve no purpose other than intimidation.
On field and off the NFL is an extraordinarily well run organization. But there’s always room for improvement.
