Archive for November 2008

Results May Vary

“Alright scale, you don’t like me and I don’t like you, but I’ve been very good so you better treat me right.” – Homer Simpson Thanksgiving was an all around good time.  There was plenty of excellent food and everyone was in fine spirits.  Only one thing bothered me, and as we get into New [...]

Just How Arrogant Are We?

“There is a difference between ignorance and stupidity.” – Artie Ziff “Not to me there isn’t!” – Homer Simpson I have frequently seen Rick Shenkman’s “Just How Stupid Are We?” referred to as one of the most popular political books of the season.  The numbers at the book’s home page up at History News Network [...]

Stop the Middle East, I Want to Get Off

“What?  Look, all I’m saying is put an Israeli guy next to an Arab guy and I can’t tell the difference.” – Peter Griffin The war between the Palestinians and the Israelis has, here in 2008, been around for so long that we actually have a routine to go through every time we get around [...]

Administrative Auguries

“Haruspicy: predicting the future through the study of animal entrails.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe’s Subliminal Vocabulary Builder It’s now been a little over two weeks since we all woke up to the reality of President (elect) Barack Obama.  The time prior to the election was a cornucopia of news and candidate appearances, the time since [...]

Serious Problems Deserving Immediate Attention

“‘No more apples in the vending machine please.’  Well, that’s almost a sentence.” – C.M. Burns The economy sucks, we’re losing two wars and about the only thing this country hasn’t suffered from lately is an alien invasion.  Nevertheless, I have a real challenge for President Obama: can you please do something about the tiny [...]

A Natural

“No, no, no, no, no.  Young man, you need to do some serious boning.” – Principal Skinner There is a truism in athletic circles, “You can’t coach speed”.  Some very athletic people can run very fast, some other very athletic people cannot run fast and there isn’t a whole lot a coach or trainer can [...]

No School Like the Old School

“Dear Advertisers, I am disgusted with the way old people depicted on television.  We are not all vibrant fun loving sex maniacs.  Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive.” – Abe Simpson Anyone with cable or satellite has more election eve watching options [...]

Red, White and a Whole Lot of Blue

“It was like that when I got here!” – Bart Simpson Congratulations President Obama, you are now the proud owner of the following messes: Afghanistan – A significant but hopelessly small American military presence sits in the middle of what is beginning to look like an ethnic civil war.  This one has been getting worse [...]

Red versus Blue

“Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king.” – Sideshow Bob Bush the Younger was a shitty president right from the start.  We will never know if a Gore Administration could’ve [...]

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