I moved recently; in doing so there was one unalloyed benefit, I am no longer a customer of Comcast. Not for phone, internet, teevee or anything else; it is a wonderful feeling. A few years ago I relied on Comcast for my television and my internet access. Then in the spring of ‘05 I got DirecTV for television, but as I had no other options for broadband internet I had to stick with Comcast for that. As I was preparing to move a few months ago I made two phone calls, one to DirecTV and one to Comcast. One was quick and simple and painless, a model of good customer service; the other was long and pointless and stupid, the very opposite of good customer service. This is the short story of those two phone calls.
The DirecTV Call
A friendly service person picked up after a bare minimum of mucking around with the automated system. I explain my situation: that I’m moving, that I need to suspend my service for a month in between, and that I’d like to schedule an install for the new place. Positive answers came back in quick succession: my service gets suspended for the interval I won’t be using it, I can leave the dish and just pack my receivers, they’ll install a dish at my new place free of charge, and just for sticking with them through a move they’re willing to give me three free months of a couple of premium channels (I think it was Starz and Cinemax but I’m not sure). No muss, no fuss, and by the way here’s some free stuff.
A month later a knowledgeable guy shows up at my new place as promised, installs the new dish and runs coax throughout my basement. End of interaction.
The Comcast Call
There was one nice thing about the Comcast call, so let’s get that out of the way right up front, I wasn’t on hold long. That was the end of the pleasantness though. When the woman on the other end picked up I informed her that I’d like to cancel my service. She asks why. I respond that I’m moving and that I won’t be needing the service at my new home, which I wont’ be occupying for a month anyway. She informs me that I really shouldn’t cancel my service because if I do and then sign up again they’ll charge me a “reconnect fee” instead of the smaller “transfer fee”. I reiterate that I won’t be needing the service at all at the new place. Blithely ignoring my previous statement, she gives me a sales pitch on how much money Comcast can save me if I get my phone, television and internet all through them. I state for a third time that I won’t be needing any service and then ask if there’s anything else I need to do to cancel my account. She replies that yes, I need to return my cable modem to the nearest payment center. The “payment center” was what the DMV in Hell must be like, nothing but unhappy customers, surly employees and bulletproof glass.
Let’s review:
DirecTV - Thanks for staying with us and here’s free Skinemax. Don’t worry about the old dish at all; we’ll get you set up at your new place for free.
Comcast - I can try to help you get a lower fee for moving, but there is going to be a fee and don’t even bother asking about suspending your account for a month. Oh, and you need to give us back our four year old cable modem, which wouldn’t fetch $10 on eBay, or we’re going to charge you retail for it.
It’s possible that my experience with DirecTV is atypical, certainly a Google search for “DirecTV Sucks” yields a lot of results. On the other hand I don’t know anyone who thinks much of Comcast; I’ve never had anyone tell me “Oh yeah my new Comcast service is awesome! It’s got X, and Y and Z and everything’s great!” Whereas I am a DirecTV customer because it was recommended by someone else and I’ve since recommended it to others. (Well, okay, Sunday Ticket clinched the deal, but it was recommended to me.) The Wikipedia page for Comcast actually has a heading for “Reputation for poor customer satisfaction” followed by links to four separate anti-Comcast websites: comcastmustdie.com, comcraptic.com, comcastsucks.org, and fuckcomcast.com. The last of which, Wikipedia helpfully notes, is an “online community”.
Dealing with large companies and their customer service departments is one of the sad realities of modern American life. Sometimes it sucks and sometimes, if you’re lucky, it sucks less. Comcast is possibly the most egregious offender (ranked dead last amongst both television providers and telephone companies by consumers) but there are, of course, many others. According to last Thursday’s New York Times, Comcast has seven full time employees dedicated to searching for and responding to on-line complaints about their rage inducing customer service. I’d just like to say to any Comcast employees out there who monitor public postings, please do not contact me. I do not have a service complaint nor will I have one ever again; I’m no longer your problem and, thankfully, Comcast is no longer mine.
I suppose I have no point, except to say that the only people I know who use Comcast do so because they have no other option; the continued existence of this company is a rank testament to the failure of competition in modern capitalism. Since it would be remiss of me to go on-line and point out Comcast’s hapless reputation and ongoing incompetence without embedding the famous YouTube video of the Comcast service guy asleep on the couch, we’ll end with that:
Posted by Zeno Amerikanos
Posted by Zeno Amerikanos
Posted by Zeno Amerikanos
