“Early reports indicate, and these are very preliminary, that one of the fighters is a giant lizard.” – Kent Brockman
This Tuesday half of the states united will, in one manner or another, indicate their preference for party presidential nominees. It is the closest we’ll come to a national moment of political decision until November. Various cable channels will cover it as such; reporters will be stationed from coast-to-coast, instanalysis will fill time between actual news, and many commercials will be shown. The whole thing is dull, pointless and stupid and as a former, and now reformed, viewer I urge you not to watch.
Election night in 2000 I was very ill. I had a fever and I’d been nauseous and vomiting all day. I did manage to vote though and right afterward I went to bed. From a little after eight that evening until after midnight, when it became clear that there would be no resolution to the Florida vote, I curled up in bed and flipped channels. From the networks to the cable news channels and back again I sought to avoid commercials and find new information from any source.
One of the things I learned that night was that watching election coverage like that is not only pointless, it’s stressful and generally dull. Trying to find things out eight seconds before anyone else, commiserating with friends about what some temporary piece of information means, it’s all a waste. The votes are cast, the outcome has been determined and the only thing to do is wait to find out the details. Trying to jump the gun, or getting excited to learn the information as soon as possible doesn’t help matters or alleviate any stress about the outcome.
We had a recent reminder of this in New Hampshire. That entire day’s news coverage was a funeral for Hillary Clinton’s campaign, and then the votes actually came in and everyone got egg on their face. By Tuesday evening there will be nothing intelligent left to say, no campaign tactics left to digest, no more sound bites to critique. There are only results to wait for, and all that requires of you the home viewer is a little patience.
On Tuesday I’m not even going to look at a news broadcast. I will simply go about my routine and, at my leisure, check a couple of websites for numerical totals. I can provide plenty of half assed analysis all by myself and without the harping distraction of commercials and channel surfing. I might, I dunno, read a book or something. It will not affect the outcome and nothing will change; my evening will just be that much more pleasant.
