Archive for February 2008

The Back of the Bus

“Only geeks sit in the front seat, from now on you sit in the back row.  And that’s not just on the bus, it goes for school and church too.” – Bart Simpson “Why?” – Martin Prince  ”So no one can see what you are doing.” – Bart Simpson “Oh, I think I understand.  The [...]

The Downside of Experience

“In light of these new facts, of which I now realize I was largely aware, I must take action.” – Mayor Quimby Of the three remaining presidential hopefuls, Barack Obama is generally considered to be the least experienced.  In at least one way that is empirically true; he is fourteen years younger than Hillary Clinton [...]

A Clinton Victory Scenario (Seriously)

“Being myself didn’t work.  Being someone else didn’t work.  Maybe I just wasn’t meant to have friends.” – Lisa Simpson I have learned to be very respectful of Hillary Clinton’s campaign for president.  Throughout last year I thought her campaign was a paper tiger.  I figured the political media, compelled to do full time campaign [...]

Racial Judo

“All this time I thought these little crackers had turned racist, when actually they were so not racist that they didn’t even make a separation of black and white to begin with.” – Chef Whether or not he ends up the Democratic nominee, Barack Obama has already proved one thing: at least as far as [...]

Fear Is Hope’s Natural Companion

“What if something goes wrong?” – Marge Simpson “What if.  What if I’m taking a shower and I slip on a bar of soap…oh my God, I’d be killed!” – Homer Simpson After what was essentially a tie last Tuesday there was much speculation that the Blue nomination wouldn’t be decided even after all fifty [...]

Perfect Pitch vs Tone Deaf

“I can’t tell you how excited Rod Stewart is about this millennium concert.  He’s gotten a little older but you’re gonna see how much he can still rock.” – Rod Stewart’s Manager Barring a serious medical complication, and at his age it’s a real possibility, John McCain now has the Republican nomination sewn up.  Mitt [...]

Democracy Theater

“Ripoff!” – Abe Simpson “We paid for blood!” – Hans Moleman Democracy is a strange thing isn’t it?  At its core it is utterly simple, every member of a group gets one vote and whichever position garners the most votes wins.  The end.  In practice, of course, it is a bit more complex.  Last night [...]

Please Don’t Watch Election TV, It’s What They Want

“Early reports indicate, and these are very preliminary, that one of the fighters is a giant lizard.” – Kent Brockman This Tuesday half of the states united will, in one manner or another, indicate their preference for party presidential nominees.  It is the closest we’ll come to a national moment of political decision until November.  [...]

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