“Everyone always says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” – Homer Simpson The death of Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan has thrown our media a bit off kilter (really, who has the temerity to up and die before the New Year but after everyone has done their 2007-in-review pieces?). Still, most of [...]
Archive for December 2007
Pakistan Can Care for Itself
Patriotism
“I’d just like to use this occasion to announce my retirement, undefeated, from the world of video boxing.” – Bart Simpson As meaningless sports achievements go, having the New England Patriots go 16-0 is pretty remarkable. It hasn’t happened in twenty-five years and there’s a decent case to be made that the Patriots had a [...]
No Product Left Behind
“Ah son, you don’t need all that junk. I’m sure you’ve already got something much more important, a decent home and a loving father who would do anything for you.” – Homer Simpson I was in a Babies R Us for the first time in five or six years yesterday. It was a surprising island [...]
We Who Are About to Die, Salute You
“This is boring.” – Stan Marsh “Yeah. Hey! When are we gonna to get to some action?” – Kyle Broflovski Two more weeks, two more weeks, two more weeks…that’s what I keep telling myself. In just two weeks we’ll finally have the Iowa Caucuses, and then less than a week after that we’ll get the [...]
Do They Have Weather Underground?
“Ohhh, eight carousels, we’re in for a real treat.” – Marge Simpson One of the first little anecdotes that early adopters of the World Wide Web liked to brag about to people who weren’t yet on-line was the ability to get a weather report from anywhere in the world. Through the magic of your 2400 [...]
An Open Letter to the American Government
“Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville, population: you.” – Homer Simpson I have new hope, possibly unfounded, that the Democrats in charge of Congress are beginning to realize that not only do they possess real power, but that their main opponent is crippled by internal incompetence and staggering unpopularity. Passing veto bait domestic bills is useful [...]
Why Does the Media Suck?
“I’m Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?” – Bart Simpson “I’m Dave Shutton. I’m an investigative reporter who’s on the road a lot and I must say that in my day we didn’t talk that way to our elders.” – Dave Shutton “Well this is my day and we do, sir.” – Bart Simpson [...]
It Ain’t Over ’til the Fat Lady…Wins a Primary
Kids These Days, I Tell Ya…
“By the way, I’m aware of the irony of appearing on teevee in order to decry it. So don’t bother pointing that out.” – Sideshow Bob I can’t be the first person to have made this comparison, but screw it, I’m doing it anyway. At the end of last year Time magazine declared “You” to [...]
Never Complain, Never Explain
“Bart Simpson you’re late! Go fill out a tardy slip.” – Mrs. Krabappel “But I’m only…five…ten…twenty…forty minutes! That’s pretty damn late.” – Bart Simpson I didn’t get yesterday’s post up. It’ll be up later today. I’ve always seen the title of this post attributed to Henry Ford Jr. after he got caught cheating on his [...]
