“8:58, first time I’ve ever been early for work, except for all those Daylight Savings days…lousy farmers.” – Homer Simpson Daylight Saving Time comes to an end this weekend. Millions of working stiffs will get an extra hour of weekend in exchange for it being dark before they get home. It’s not a bad trade, [...]
Archive for October 2007
Wait, What Time Is It?
How Do You Spell “Cam Ranh Bay” in Arabic?
“Go away! There ain’t no monorail and there never was!” – Monorail Café Employee On Wednesday I got a new London Review of Books and the very first article was a speculation on just what we’re going to be doing with all those bases we’ve quietly constructed in Iraq. (The LRB is nice enough to [...]
Anything You Can Do I Can Do Greener
“I am even dustier! Dustier than thou!” – Sideshow Mel Ah, Salon.com and Slate.com, the Time and Newsweek of our time. This week each of them had an article about meat eating and the environment. Both articles boil down, more or less, to the fact that eating meat is bad for the environment but not [...]
President Woman; President Token
Of Straw and Camels’ Backs
“You see, killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down.” – Zap Brannigan In grim commemoration of the Congressional vote to authorize the Iraq War yesterday (which was now half a decade ago) the Washington [...]
Putting the T&A in TSA
“Clean…clean…pistol…Uzi…two kids posing as an adult…” – Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Security Guard News came this week that security at the Phoenix airport will soon be using a new type of scanner. It looks like something Bill & Ted’s kids might use to travel through time and employs invisible beams of energy to peer through [...]
No…We Insist
“As a final humiliation, you must walk home naked, dragging behind you the stone of shame.” – Number One I don’t follow Congress closely enough to accurately gauge the chances of the kiddie health care bill gaining enough votes in the House to override last week’s veto. I do hope it happens though. I don’t [...]
Larry Craig: Top or Bottom? Inquiring Minds Want to Know!
“I’m putting you where the action is.” – C.M. Burns “Springtime fresh, winter white, what could be better?” – Mr. Smithers Homophobia has always been one of our more complex prejudices. Think about it for a second: gay people can look just like regular people! I mean, you can hate just about anyone you want [...]
Did Anyone Tell These People What “Blackwater” Means?
“We got a little rule back home, if it’s brown drink it down, if it’s black send it back.” – Homer Simpson Amongst people who worry about things like water usage and all the problems and shortages we’re likely to experience with it in the very near future, the term “blackwater” refers to a very [...]
